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Fight Club: James Franco

Writer: Dzamira Dzafri

In celebration of our love for highly anticipated movies like "Oz the Great and Powerful" and hot male leads, what can be a better way than to gather all our favourite James Franco roles in film and make them battle to their deaths using our imagination in this ingenious feature as imaginative as Oz itself!

 

ROUND 1
Battle #1: Oz and Hugh Hefner

The Wizard of Oz, "Oz the Great and Powerful"

Hugh Hefner, "Lovelace"
Oz
Strengths: Since we don't know what James Franco's portrayal of the Wizard of Oz is going to be like, we could just guess from what we know from the original "Wizard of Oz" film with Judy Garland. He does have the power of giving everyone exactly what they need, even if it is during the last minutes of the film. He is also in charge of the whole Emerald City.
Weaknesses: He wasn't very good at hiding out and pretending to be a stronger and more powerful figure. He can't scare anyone off.
Weapon of choice: Magic.

Hugh Hefner
Strengths: Franco will be playing the real life playboy and founder of Playboy magazine Hugh Hefner in the upcoming "Lovelace" movie starring Amanda Seyfried.
Weaknesses: Women?
Weapon of choice: Probably alcohol.

 

WINNER: The Wizard of Oz!
Hefner can probably throw a punch, and Oz could have tried really hard to avoid confrontation but it all goes down to Oz's magical world that he could take advantage of while battling it out with a mere mortal whose only strength is that he founded a magazine consisting of naked pictures of women.

 

Battle #2: Aron Ralston and Will Rodman

Aron Ralston, "127 Hours"

Will Rodman, "Rise of the Planet of the Apes"
Aron Ralston
Strengths: He has amazing stamina to run around deserts and jump around small mountains; he could also cut his own hand if he needed to. Now that's strength.
Weaknesses: He might be a little too careless when it comes to having some fun.
Weapon of choice: A very blunt knife.

Will Rodman
Strengths: He has amazing scientific skills, and the power to out-brain most people.
Weaknesses: His heart is a bit too soft and he might be a little too caring, which would be a good thing most of the time but when it comes to fighting for his life this could be a great weakness.
Weapon of choice: His mind.

 

WINNER: Aron Ralston!
Will Rodman could beat Ralston in an IQ test but the feisty survivor would definitely fight for his survival and win. Even with only one good arm we still think he could bring him down, easy.

 

Battle #3: Taste and Saul Silver

Taste, "Date Night"

Saul Silver, Pineapple Express
Taste
Strengths: The ability to steal things off mobsters, and the ability to flee at the right time and getting away with it alive.
Weaknesses: Even if he does have the power to flee quickly and easily, it still doesn't hide the fact that he is pretty cowardly.
Weapon of choice: A gun he never uses.

Saul Silver
Strengths: Let us at least say he has great entrepreneurship skills in a small business he can run at home. And like Taste, he managed to get away from a lot of trouble.
Weaknesses: His 'performance-enhancing drugs'.
Weapon of choice: His 'performance-enhancing drugs'.

 

WINNER: Saul Silver!
This was a tough one to decide as both of these characters are in the mobster/crime area of expertise. Though taste had a really great skill of being able to run away with his wife and not get caught, he wasn't a match for Saul Silver's dedication and persistence that eventually saved the day.

 

Battle #4: Harry Osborn and Danny Clear

Harry Osborn, "Spiderman"

Danny "Crystal" Clear, "The Green Hornet"
Harry Osborn
Strengths: The villainous second generation to his father's Green Goblin legacy, Osborn has got the skills and power to fight Spiderman himself and be a tough one to beat.
Weaknesses: He did eventually lose to Spiderman.
Weapon of choice: His superhuman agility, strength, speed, stamina, and dexterity when he uses his chemical solution.

Danny Clear
Strengths: Another character from a superhero film (although just a cameo role), Crystal Clear was the head of a crystal meth empire, and it helped that he had bodyguards as well.
Weaknesses: He lasted less than one scene before Christoph Waltz blew him to pieces.
Weapon of choice: We don't know as he is most likely to die within the first few minutes of the battle.

 

WINNER: Harry Osborn!
The help of a few bodyguards won't scare off Harry Osborn as this is Crystal Clear's only proper defense. What else does he have? Drugs and money? It's no contest that The Green Goblin could single handedly win a fight to the death against Clear, and he wouldn't even feel bad about it either.

 

ROUND 2

Now comes the second round. After the characters have battled it out in the first round, the previous winners would battle the remaining winners, starting with the Wizard of Oz himself and the one-armed survivor.

 

Battle #5: Oz and Aron Ralston

Oz had shown us he wasn't an easy one to beat with him being a wizard and all, and Aron Ralston proved himself as a man worthy of fighting such a magician with his superior survival skills.

 

WINNER: Oz!
With that being said, Aron's mere mortality is no match for the magic powers of the Wizard Oz. Though it might have been an intense battle, and Ralston would not have died so easily.

 

Battle #6: Saul Silver and Harry Osborn

Saul Silver won against Taste as he had better persistence skills when it came to the story in Pineapple Express, but he may not be too much of a match for the Marvel supervillain.

 

WINNER: Harry Osborn!
Of course Harry Osborn would win. Saul may have had decent escape skills which might help for a short while, and he might have been able to outsmart Osborn for a little while but The Green Goblin eventually won by decapitating Saul's head, easy.

 

ROUND 3: The Finale
Now it all comes down to the two remaining James Franco characters. Both of them have come so far to fight each other to the death. The results will be close, but there will only be one winner in the end.

 

Battle #7: Oz and Harry Osborn

Both Oz and Harry had fought valiantly to get this far, and this battle would be nothing less of difficult to get through. Both of them have great powers and skills, though in different fields. Oz would try and trick Harry Osborn's mind, and while Harry took a while to put on his super-villain suit and use his special serum he managed to come out of Oz's magical powers with barely any scars.

 

WINNER: Harry Osborn!

Oz might have used more of his brain into it, but it's all about how ruthless you can be in a fight to the death as Harry Osborn managed to triumph in the end. Oz's powers might have been a little too tame for The Green Goblin, and for now, the bad guy managed to win over the (fairly) good.

Of course if Harry played fair and didn't use his super-suit to take advantage of the situation Oz would have won by a mile, but bad guys don't think that way.
Cinema Online, 28 February 2013


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