Writer: Audrey Ker

Writer Ratings:
Overall:
Cast:
Plot:
Effects:
Cinematography:

Watch this if you liked: The “Scary Movie” franchise, “Disaster Movie”, “Meet The Spartans”

With the vampire frenzy escalating to dizzying heights lately, who could blame directors Aaron Seltzer & Jason Friedberg for wanting to make a parody of the movie that captured the hearts of so many teens alike? As the title depicts, vampires suck! Unfortunately, the movie kind of sucks too...

Going in the same veins as other recent spoof movies, "Vampires Suck" pokes fun of recent pop cultures, references and characters. Throw in a flimsy plot cobbled from memorable parts of the "Twilight" movies and you get the 'big picture' (pun intended). Most of the jokes and gags of course are aimed at the teen angst / romance that is "Twilight", but there are also many satires inserted of other popular shows like "True Blood", "The Vampire Diaries", "Saturday Night Live" and even "Gossip Girl".

Still, there aren't that many acts that warrant laughter or even giggles. While some jokes are spot-on (like a certain hip hop group and Jacob's physical transformation), most of the gags are so far out and lame that they fail to elicit even a snort from the audience. Kind of like a stand-up comedian with his witty remarks but all he got were stares of incredulity.

The only redeeming quality from the film is the attention to detail that the filmmakers brought. From the makeup, hair and clothing, even the facial expressions were mimicked exactly like the original! Let's also not forget the casting of actors who look quite similar to the original and their rather brilliant acting. If you factor in the awkwardness and rather stiff expressions they really nailed the characters down pat! Special mention should be given to Jenn Proske who not only looks like Kristen Stewart, but also went all the way in imitating her portrayal of Bella - the stutters, the lip biting, excessive batting of lashes and even the hair flipping are eerily similar!

Only watch this if you're a huge fan of the "Scary Movie" franchise or if you're a Twihater. Then again, REALLY open-minded Twihards might just find this movie rather funny because it's another way to appease their addiction to anything "Twilight" until the next saga comes along!

Cinema Online, 25 August 2010